I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
