yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
