Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
