Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
