I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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