in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
