You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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