i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we're so committed to being not committed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
