I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
