i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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