he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize