Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
