im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I did not marry a roomba.
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