Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
