what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
