Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
well you can't waste a boner
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize