i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
