talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
what day is it and did you see me today?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
