whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
