he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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