I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize