i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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