i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
