Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
