I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
