I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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