i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize