Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
