If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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