Buhtt sex?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize