I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
