Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
