I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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