so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
