Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
