mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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