he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
