maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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