Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
