yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
