He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
