Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Panties = found
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
