then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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