this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
