too bad you live with your parents still
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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