I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
