Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize