Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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