So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We have started to decorate penises.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
