I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
