Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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