found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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