I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
