My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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