I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
