I think im going to throw up on grandma
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
