I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
