you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize