How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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