your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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