A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I need to stop coming to work sober
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
