I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he shaved USA in his pubs
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize