I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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