Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
