Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
