Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
