420 ftw
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
