I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
