Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
