tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize