Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize