were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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