She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
