His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
