How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
