He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
