Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
