I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize