White coat. Heels.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
