he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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