Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
